Car Dealing

I thought I'd buy me a real good car,
but I didn't intend to go very far,
I rushed to the place just down the road,
after I'd brushed up on my highway code.
There were Fords and Daimlers all in a heap,
to top the lot there was a one wheeled jeep.
Then the man rolled up with a big spare tyre,
and a face with no chin just a little bit higher.
He kept on talking and naming each make,
until I wished he'd shut up for Pete's sake.
At last he decided to show me around,
so I followed his footsteps over the ground.
He showed me a car that was riddled with rot,
I said " I think it's a leak in the roof that you've got".
He looked at me in a terrible way,
and I thought to myself "what else can I say?"
Then he smiled or at least he tried,
and suggested that we should go for a ride.
We jumped in a car and changed up a gear,
it was then we discovered there was nothing to steer.
We twisted and wobbled all down the street,
it was like pedalling a bike without any feet.
I'd almost forgotten it might have a brake,
so I put my foot down and it stopped with a shake,
We got out, I'd had my lot,
and ran straight home like a bloomin' shot!

© D.G. Phillips